I talk a lot about victimhood because I find this is the place where most people live. In working with companies that have asked for my help, the first thing I look at is the manager or CEO of the company. In almost every single case I invariably discover that the core problem is not with the company, but with the manager or CEO. Usually he or she is living at the victim level of awareness when it comes to his or her business.
Their "story" is usually how they are being victimized by their partners, employees, suppliers, the government, etc. Until they move out of the victim level, it is impossible for me to help their company. So I work on them first.
What about your life? The bottom line is if your internal story is one of victimhood, you will suffer. It is very simple. And if you are quite certain that you are not telling yourself a story of victimization, and yet you continue to suffer, then I suggest you are lying to yourself. You are telling yourself some variation of a story of how you have been wronged. Whether it is a story of God, your parents, your current or former husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, the government or circumstances that have wronged you, it is all a story about being a victim.
Even the most violent aggressors, when the superficial layer of aggression is cracked, have a story of having been wronged. Striking out in anger against individuals, groups or countries always involves a story of victimization.
Seeing how your victim story plays out in your life is an important step to realizing true freedom. When you really see that your victim story has to be recreated each time it plays out, you realize you are perpetuating it. Playing it over and over in your mind takes energy, attention, belief, emotion and some kind of masochistic pleasure in the pain. Yes, it is shocking! To see this operating in you can be quite disturbing.
To stop being a victim doesn't mean to trivialize the horror in your life, to deny it, gloss over it or repress it. However, it does mean you don't have to justify, wail, moan, complain or seek revenge. You just leave it alone. It does not serve you in any way.
Are you willing to let your stories of victimization go?
Are you willing to let all those horrible aggressors go unpunished? At a certain point you have to be willing to call it off. Are you willing to end it? You are free to suffer and you are free to stop suffering. No one can end it but you. That is where your true freedom lies. When you consciously choose to let suffering go you are free. The bondage of victimization is thinking you do not have a choice. You can choose to be free or you can choose to continue to suffer. It's up to you.
Truly Caring for Your Success!
Dr. Robert Anthony
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