It's funny, isn't it, how you can go through life almost half awake and not notice the blindingly obvious? But so many people I meet on a daily basis are moaning about the world and the people in it, thinking they should do this or that, ultimately hating the world and not enjoying that particular moment of their life's journey. And when you really drill down to what is at the heart of their moaning and complaining, it comes down to a sense of powerlessness, a sense of complete lack of control in a tumultuous world. Yet deeper than that is a dissatisfaction with themselves, a sense of self hatred almost, because they are going through life never having established a healthy relationship with themselves.
I know this because this is true of myself. Only in my mid 30's, when I really started exploring the 'self help' world in greater detail, did this concept of ones relationship with ones-self come to the fore of my life. I won't bore you with the details (you'll have to buy that book later!) but think about this:
When you look in the mirror at yourself each morning, what do you say to yourself about yourself in your head?
Is your voice critical or positive about yourself?
Because we've never been told in mainstream education to create this kind of relationship with ourselves. Yes, we've been told to become slaves to the physical world, always putting what other people need and think first before our own needs and opinions, but never have we been told to like ourselves first. It's no wonder the world is suffering a mental health breakdown, because there's never been any solid mainstream education about the power of a positive inner voice talking positively to yourself about yourself in your own head.
It seems ludicrous that the school system is trying to get kids to achieve and is obsessed with targets, yet teachers have no concept of developing a positive inner voice to achieve these targets. Because that's where the work of the educator needs to start, on developing a positive inner voice within the head of each child about themselves so they feel positively motivated and convinced they can achieve in the world. Because if the breaks are on mentally, no amount of encouragement or bribery, screaming or beating is going to get that child to believe they can achieve when their head is telling them they can't.
For those oldies now outside the school system, it isn't game over for us yet. Because we can all start building this positive relationship with ourselves now in our own homes. It's easy: everytime you see yourself in a mirror stop, take a moment to really look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself how amazing you are. Think things like "You know [insert name] you are really, really amazing today", or "You look really really good today."
Just do it, make it a new habit, and see yourself over-riding years of negative conditioning and self relationship neglect. But just promise me you'll really look at yourself in the mirror and start to like what you see. And then you'll slowly see the rest of your life begin to improve as you 'fix' this long neglected relationship with yourself.
Saturday, 9 October 2010
Friday, 8 October 2010
Yep, the wonderful Louise Hay, Head of Hay House Publishing – the world’s leading producer of self help literature – officially endorsed Feel Good UK and its incredible work this week. What a feeling that brings the heart!
I met Louise at the Hay House ‘Movers and Shakers’ workshop event in London last weekend (Friday 1st Oct to Sunday 3rd Oct 2010) and what an event it was. The biggest surprise of all was Louise being there in person; nowhere was this mentioned in any publicity and when she enetered the room the entire room seemed to gasp with delight.
It was an incredible event, led by Reid Tracy and the beautiful Cheryl Richardson, and the results they got out of all the people they worked with - including myself - were incredible. We all met Jonathan Hope, a guy who reduced the room to tears with his emotional story of kidney failure and near death experience (I certainly expect to be hearing more from this guy in the future). And 'Pauline', whose hilarious and moving account of working in a mental health ward was just too incredible to describe.
Yet the big theme which seemed to pervade the whole 3 days for me was pretty personal and seemed to be shared by many others. It is: although we are taking one product to market, we actually all have another life experience (which has led to our current work) which we really should be talking about more, for the benefit of others in the world.
I'm currently exploring my approach to this as without a doubt it has subconsciously shaped all my work to date. So no doubt you'll be hearing more about this soon. Until then, take care.
CEO Steve with Louise Hay at the event - "Talk about meeting Yoda!"
CEO Steve with Cheryl Richardson