Listen to this and remember this if nothing else.
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Dr Robert Anthony: Life Is A Stream
It is always about the FLOW.
The problem is most people take their boat down to the river, put it in the river and then they invariably turn it UPSTREAM and start paddling hard against the current. It never occurs to them to go downstream because they think they have to struggle to have what they want.
Here is a simple idea. Why not go WITH the current instead of fighting AGAINST the current? But you may say, "Struggle and hard work is the only way to get what you want." That's crazy! Here is the important point - NOTHING YOU WANT IS UPSTREAM. Ever!
Every bit of struggle and determination, all that "I am going to heal myself", "I am going to fix this", "I am going to make this better", all of that has you focused UPSTREAM. What I want is for you to feel the ease of letting go of struggle. You don't even have to turn your boat around in the stream and begin paddling downstream - just let go of the oars (struggle) and the current will turn you automatically!
This is not about teaching you to go with the stream because you have no choice. This is about asking the question and helping you answer it. Are you going willingly? Are you going toward your natural unfolding willingly, or are you going to continue to paddle upstream? In every moment the choice of which way you are going to go is yours.
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Abraham-Hicks: Can You Really Help Another?
Hear below powerful audios from Abraham-Hicks on the importance of helping, improving and empowering yourself first before you can ever help another.
A Journey From Illness To Recovery
Hear below a powerful story about illness, recovery, and uncovering and purging suppressed negative emotion from your life.
The Telegraph: Radio Makes Britons Happier Than TV And Web
Listening to the radio makes people happier and gives them higher energy levels than watching TV or browsing the internet, new research has found.
Over 1,000 Britons were polled via their smartphones and asked to record what media they were consuming and to rate their mood and energy levels while doing so.
Radio came out top, beating both TV and online, in the study called ‘Media and the Mood of the Nation’, with respondents recording a 100 per cent lift in happiness and 300 per cent boost to their energy levels when listening to a radio show versus not consuming any type of media at all.
Watching TV and surfing the internet also significantly boosts people’s happiness and energy levels, but failed to come close to the positive effect radio listening has on Britons’ well-being.
“People are the happiest and most energetic when listening to radio. It plays an important emotional role in people’s lives,” said Mark Barber, planning director at the Radio Advertising Bureau which commissioned the research.
“People use radio as a lifestyle support system and to make themselves feel better about their lives… Our latest research highlights the immense potential of radio to influence emotions.”
The study found that listening to the radio increases people’s happiness levels nearly twice as much as watching TV does, and gives them four times the amount of perceived energy. Similarly radio trumped people’s feelings when online, especially in the energy stakes. Those listening to radio said that they felt three times more energetic than they did when browsing the web.
A separate part of the study also used EEG brain scans to further monitor people’s reactions to radio. Having monitored the wave activity in six people’s brains (three men and three women), the results showed that radio stimulates positive brain engagement levels and that people are more responsive to audio adverts when preceded by editorial content.
The study did not include how people felt when reading newspapers or magazines.
From http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/8603551/Radio-makes-Britons-happier-than-TV-and-web.html
Over 1,000 Britons were polled via their smartphones and asked to record what media they were consuming and to rate their mood and energy levels while doing so.
Radio came out top, beating both TV and online, in the study called ‘Media and the Mood of the Nation’, with respondents recording a 100 per cent lift in happiness and 300 per cent boost to their energy levels when listening to a radio show versus not consuming any type of media at all.
Watching TV and surfing the internet also significantly boosts people’s happiness and energy levels, but failed to come close to the positive effect radio listening has on Britons’ well-being.
“People are the happiest and most energetic when listening to radio. It plays an important emotional role in people’s lives,” said Mark Barber, planning director at the Radio Advertising Bureau which commissioned the research.
“People use radio as a lifestyle support system and to make themselves feel better about their lives… Our latest research highlights the immense potential of radio to influence emotions.”
The study found that listening to the radio increases people’s happiness levels nearly twice as much as watching TV does, and gives them four times the amount of perceived energy. Similarly radio trumped people’s feelings when online, especially in the energy stakes. Those listening to radio said that they felt three times more energetic than they did when browsing the web.
A separate part of the study also used EEG brain scans to further monitor people’s reactions to radio. Having monitored the wave activity in six people’s brains (three men and three women), the results showed that radio stimulates positive brain engagement levels and that people are more responsive to audio adverts when preceded by editorial content.
The study did not include how people felt when reading newspapers or magazines.
From http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/8603551/Radio-makes-Britons-happier-than-TV-and-web.html
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
7 Epic Strategies To Ignite Your Social Skills
No, it's not so much about the "professional networking" aspect or building a social media network full of fans and promoters. Even in our increasingly tech-laden world, it's those pure, totally uninhibited, simply "human" face-to-face connections that mean the absolute most in life.
There's something so unique and special about the bonds we forge over laughter and smiles, as well as those shared over tears and during moments of adversity when communities unite to overcome sorrow.
However, if you're more of an "introvert" and not a Type-A, extroverted personality, those human connections feel a bit tougher to come by. I'd rather listen that talk, ask questions than rattle off answers. It takes some real courage for me to enter a social setting that I'm unfamiliar with, or especially (gasp!) a social scene where I don't know anybody else beforehand.
Are you the same way?
No matter the extent of your social skills, introverted personality, or even if you deal with social anxiety in certain situations, I've assembled some of the easiest and most effective tips for introverts -- provided by introverts, themselves! -- from across the web and Twittersphere for you to try out at your next networking event or at the local watering hole this weekend!
1. JUST DO IT!!
"I have to force myself to get out there. It's hard to do. But I join organizations, talk to business people... Engaging people first through social media has helped make the transition to real life interactions easier: It sets up a wonderful comfort level." calkundra, on Twitter
Honestly, what would we do without the wisdom of Nike's infamous catch-phrase? Simply force yourself to step outside of your comfort zones. You can even use social media like Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook to facilitate face-to-face connections in a way that provide an initial level of familiarity and comfort with new people.
Did you know that modern scientific and psychological studies prove that when you interpret difficult, uncomfortable situations as "challenges" and "adventures," we are better able to cope with stress and anxiety?
Get creative and push yourself to extend your boundaries. View each interaction, and each new social setting as a unique challenge, opportunity and adventure to meet new and wonderful people -- who knows who you'll meet, what you'll learn, and what good could come to a stranger's life thanks to your friendly smile.
2. RELAX, GET COMFORTABLE
"Warmth. Getting relaxed as possible prior." playwithamy, on Twitter
Outside of using social media to get yourself more familiar with people who will be in attendance at upcoming networking and social events, you can even visit the venue itself to get familiar with the "lay of the land." I don't know about you, but I get all sorts of flustered when I get lost heading to a new venue or struggle to find parking for my car (or, in Boston where I'm currently living, figuring there's a good chance of getting ticketed and/or towed!).
Watch a funny movie or TV show ahead of time, too.
Your happy, smiling, fun-loving state will carry over into the event and help you radiate with attractive, positive energy and invite new people to approach you for conversation.
3. SET SIMPLE GOALS
"Speak to one stranger per day! Trust and embrace the unknown!" outwardnick, on Twitter
Focus on setting simple goals. Meeting one new person every day -- or even just one person in any social setting -- helps to build your confidence, gather forward momentum and create a sensation of steady growth within you.
You can meet just one stranger per day, can't you? :)
4. GET HELP FROM YOUR (OUTGOING) FRIENDS
"I think having at least one very extroverted friend helps. When I'm with mine, you'd never know how shy and introverted I am." aprilsmithma, on Twitter
This is an awesome bit of advice. Who are your most outgoing, social friends? You can "ride their coat-tails" and tag along with them to events you might not otherwise feel comfortable attending, and begin meeting new people through their naturally extroverted personality.
Don't feel intimidated by your friend if he or she woos the room and you feel like you've taken a back seat or are hiding in the shadows. Remain confident and smiling. You can even ask your friend outright for help meeting people -- they will happily oblige.
I use this strategy myself!
5. EMBRACE THE NERVES
"Be scared, uncomfortable, and do it anyway. Stretch boundaries slowly, desensitize one awkward situation at a time! :)" jwitcraft, on Twitter
You're nervous? Good. You're alive.
Like any skill, socializing takes practice. I've gotten better and better at it over time, and in spite of your nerves, stretching your boundaries step-by-step will help you grow to become pretty good at witty banter and that typical back-and-forth of conversations when meeting new people.
6. MAKE IT ABOUT THEM, NOT YOU
"Focus on the other person. Asking people about themselves & being interested makes them think you're a great conversationalist. :D" cordeliacallsit, on Twitter
I personally LOVE this tip. In any uncomfortable situation, an introvert's best strategy is to simply take the attention off yourself by asking questions, becoming invested in the words the other person is saying, and deeply listening to their stories.
Take the attention off of yourself by making your interaction with someone about them and not you, and you won't feel like you're buckling under the pressure of "putting on a show."
This technique will also make you feel more comfortable to open up yourself and get familiarized with the group of people with whom you're spending time.
7. DROP THE 'INTROVERT' LABEL ALTOGETHER!
This tip is my own!
Personally, I'm really not sure when I "finally" realized I was an introverted personality. But if the decision was an "either/or" between introvert and extrovert, it's not like I had much of a choice, anyway!
I'm not sure that it makes any sense to completely reduce our deeply complex personalities to such a black-or-white, introvert or extrovert, one-or-the-other label: one that ingrains an idea within our own minds of our personal skills, talents, abilities, and -- equally as powerful -- our perceived limitations.
Truly, each of our individual personalities (combined with our unique living experiences) should remind us that each of our personalities represent one of "one million-shades of gray."
Just drop the "introvert" label and remind yourself that every person is really in the same boat as a human being looking to share those same unique and special human connections with others.
After all, that's what life is really about.
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Dr Robert Anthony: Are You Tuned Into Failure Or Success?
Because of what is happening in your environment, you are more likely to be focused on something gone wrong, so you can't immediately focus on, "my life is perfect in every way". This is partly because you have been trained to "face reality" and "tell it like it is", but also because those frequencies are pretty far apart.
If something happens and you feel despair and one of your well meaning friends tries to help you by being cheerful, all you do is justify more vehemently why you feel like you do. Their happiness just makes you feel even more like a failure. And their guidance just makes you feel like you would like to smack them along side of their head. There is nothing worse than feeling the opposite of who you are and how you want to feel while some positive thinker is flapping in your face about how you create your own reality. You feel like saying, "I am sure that is not true, or you wouldn't be in my reality in this moment!"
But when you understand it is not your job or even possible to find a really good feeling thought from that bad feeling thought, you can work out of it slowly. If you are in despair about something, instead of trying to change it completely, perhaps you could find a little gratitude in something else to soften your energy. If you are having trouble forgiving someone, perhaps you could feel a little better if you forgave yourself for something that you might have done in the past. Sometimes we cannot come out of despair, lack of forgiveness or other negative emotions completely because the frequencies from despair to happiness or total forgiveness to loving the other person are too far apart, but if you will take a small step in that direction, it can make a huge difference.
Even frustration is better than despair or lack of forgiveness.
From frustration you can find hope and from hope you can find just about anything that you want. The reason so many people have given up on any awareness of what their emotions are telling them and doing something about it is the leap seems too far from where they are. All it takes is some small steps and you will get there!
Just How Important Is Sleep?
The National Sleep Foundation maintains that eight to nine hours of sleep for adult humans is optimal and that sufficient sleep benefits alertness, memory and problem solving, and overall health, as well as reducing the risk of accidents.
A widely publicized 2003 study performed at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine demonstrated that cognitive performance declines with fewer than eight hours of sleep.
Sleep deprivation can adversely affect brain function. A 2001 Study at Harvard's Medical Institute suggested that sleep deprivation may be linked to more serious diseases, such as heart disease.
Several large studies using nationally representative samples suggest that the obesity epidemic in Europe and the United States might have as one of its causes a corresponding decrease in the average number of hours that people are sleeping.
The findings suggests that this might be happening because sleep deprivation might be disrupting hormones that regulate glucose metabolism and appetite. The association between sleep deprivation and obesity appears to be strongest in young and middle-age adults.
Tips for a good night's sleep:
The following ten tips can help you achieve sleep and the benefits it provides. These tips are intended for "typical" adults, but not necessarily for children or persons experiencing
medical problems.
1. Maintain a regular sleep time schedule including weekends.
2. Establish a regular, relaxing bedtime routine (bath, reading or soothing music).
3. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and cool. Turn off electronics.
4. Sleep on a comfortable mattress and pillows.
5. Use your bedroom only for sleep and s*x.
6. Finish eating at least 2-3 hours before your regular bedtime.
7. Exercise regularly, but not immediately before bedtime.
8. Avoid caffeine (e.g. coffee, tea, soft drinks, chocolate) close to bedtime.
9. Avoid nicotine (e.g. cigarettes, tobacco products). It can lead to poor sleep.
10. Avoid alcohol close to bedtime.
(Courtesy: National Sleep Foundation)
I actually take exception with their last point. Most people will find a drink or two relaxing, and the sugar spike will likely put them to sleep within an hour or two. I suspect that meditation would do you more good than drinking, though.
To enhance the quality of your sleep clear your room of all electronics and use a geopathic influence eliminator. Use a negative ion generator it will keep you calm.
From http://www.life-enthusiast.com
Hear below Abraham-Hicks talking about sleep.
BBC NEWS: Mental Health Care For Youth Offenders 'Lacking'
A study by the Children's Commissioner for England raised concerns about both the quality and variation in standards.
It said the system was too focused on minimising the risk offenders presented rather than helping them.
The report called for greater access to mainstream NHS and council services and better training for staff.
More than 6,000 under-18s pass through the youth justice system each year and at any one time there are about 1,800 in custody - the highest per head in Europe.
'Do Better'
The Children's Commissioner's report looked at a variety of services, including youth offending teams, detention centres and secure care homes.
The experts found a system that was too focused on using tactics such as restraining difficult offenders rather than tackling the reasons for their behaviour.
Those in the youth justice system have higher levels of difficulties on virtually every measure of the mental health and wellbeing scale.
“We are currently failing many of these children and young people” Dr Chris Hanvey - Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health
About 85% of those caught up in the system have personality disorders - eight times higher than the general population.
Some 60% also have speech or language problems, while a quarter have learning difficulties - a figure which rises to 50% for youngsters in custody.
Cases of depression, anxiety, psychosis and self-harm are also higher than average.
As well as improving training and access to services, the report recommended health screening for offenders and more support for when they are discharged from the system.
It also said the size of secure units should be limited to no more than 150 - some can house as many as 400 offenders.
Sue Berelowitz, who led the review team, said: "We owe it to future generations to push ourselves to do better, much better."
Dr Chris Hanvey, of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, agreed action was needed.
"We are currently failing many of these children and young people."
A Department of Health spokesman said the government would be looking to improve standards.
"We recognise that young people in custody are some of the most vulnerable in society and that good access to health and mental health services is key to breaking the cycle of offending."
From http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-13875782
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Dr Robert Anthony: Who You Really Are
What I want you to understand is that when you do not love an individual or group of individuals, the problem that is caused is caused by you and the problems it creates comes to you, not to your enemy. When you do this you are out of alignment with Source Energy (gaps closed). To open the gaps you have to find a way to soften up your vibration on those people that have been betraying and mistreating you because even though you may feel utterly justified in the way you feel about their seeming wrongdoing or about their betrayal, you are punishing yourself.
When you focus on anyone in an attitude of anything that is less than the pure, you split your vibrational pattern and it feels like negative emotion to you. And if you keep it up, you experience a stronger indication of discord.
So the first indication of vibrational discord or resistance between who you really are and who you are being in the moment is the feeling of negative emotion. The first indication of alignment is positive emotion. These emotions are your indications that you are in alignment or out of alignment with who you really are.
In other words, when you "get it" that you have this supreme guidance that is giving you feedback in every moment and that everything that manifests in your life is nothing more than an indication of your current vibrational stance, then you can come to realize if you are experiencing manifestations that are not pleasing, you must change the vibration that is emanating from you or the indicator can't change. The indicator will remain the same until you change your thought and vibrational energy.
Dr Robert Anthony: What Negative Emotion Really Means
The indicator we receive most is negative emotion. But it can be any type of indicator that tells us we are out of vibrational alignment. Health issues, relationship problems, business problems are all indicators of vibration. Change the vibration and the indication must change.
Anytime you are in some situation where it is not as you want it to be - it causes you to ask for a change. In that moment of asking, Source Energy answers then lines up circumstances and events and a rush of energy moves through a veritable vortex. The energy moves quickly and instantaneously towards the fulfillment of EVERYTHING you ask for. The question is, "Are you up to speed with that energy stream?"
In these days of fast moving energy, the stream is moving so fast that if you get a little out of alignment with it, the results will show up fast and usually in a big way. In other words, when you are in a car going 100 mph, you pay more attention than if your car is going 5 mph. If the car you are driving at 100 mph hits a tree, it is a much bigger problem for you than if you were driving at 5 mph.
We are living in a world of fast moving energy. You cannot be sloppy with your thinking in an environment where energy is moving so fast. You have got to pay attention to your thoughts.
But paying attention to your thoughts is nearly impossible. Let's face it, most people can't even control their kids, let alone control their thoughts. Monitoring your thoughts is hopeless. So don't monitor your thoughts, just monitor the way you FEEL. Decide right now that you want to feel good as much as possible and you are going to use the power of your mind to focus on better and better feeling thoughts.
I am sure you are determined to think more deliberately and focus on things you want. I also realize that can be a little tricky when you are in the middle of something you don't want. You can't just pretend it does not exist or pretend it is not happening. You can't just withdraw from your work or withdraw from your relationships.
In other words, you cannot just withdraw from where you are because it has your attention. You must work out of it one step at a time.
Hear below what Abraham-Hicks says about negative emotion.
Monday, 20 June 2011
BBC NEWS: Drugs Treatment Policy For England 'Doomed To Failure'
The Centre for Policy Studies says rehabilitation is a better use of the £3.6bn now spent on treating users with drug substitutes like methadone and keeping them on benefits each year.
But it says plans to reward groups which treat addicts so they can return to work are open to manipulation.
The Department of Health said it aimed to get users "off drugs for good".
The coalition government wants to change the way drug addiction is tackled, with more people with problems diverted away from prison and into treatment as part of what it calls a "rehabilitation revolution".
Part of this involves rewarding treatment providers who show addicts have improved their health and employment prospects.
Transfer of Power
A report from the right-of-centre think tank, which has links to the Conservative Party, says these payment-by-results schemes were being run by the very organisations "responsible for the current failure of policy".
It says the current annual cost of maintaining treatment for 320,000 problem drug users is made up of £1.7bn in benefits, £1.2bn for looking after their children and £730m for prescribing the heroin substitute methadone.
Kathy Gyngell, Centre of Policy Studies: "The Department of Health has been paying 153,000 people to be on methadone"
The think tank calls for "a real transfer of power from large distant organisations to small innovative providers" for rehabilitation.
It says such units have a better chance of getting addicts off drugs completely, adding: "There is one simple measure of success: That of six months abstinence from drugs."
According to the report's author Kathy Gyngell, chairwoman of the prisons and addictions policy forum at the CPS, prescribing methadone to addicts delays their recovery.
She told the BBC: "The state is subsidising people to be any number of years on methadone, which has turned out not to be a cheap option and will only subsidise the tiniest proportion - 2% - to go into a rehabilitation unit that would actually free them from dependency and allow them to live their life."
A Department of Health spokesman said: "The 2010 Drug Strategy is fundamentally different from those that have gone before.
"Instead of focusing primarily on reducing the harms caused by drug misuse, our approach will be to go much further and offer every support for people to choose recovery as an achievable way out of dependence."
He added: "Work is under way to support local recovery systems tailored to the needs of communities, many of which are already showing positive results."
From http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13826759
Hear below Abraham-Hicks talk about drug addiction and the one and only cure.
Thursday, 16 June 2011
ABRAHAM HICKS: On Forgiveness
Hear below these powerful audios on the importance to yourself on forgiving.
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Leading Scottish Mental Health Charity Calls For Action On Depression
Why is this needed now, when depression has been around in our society for centuries? It is hardly a new issue. In very recent times, for example, the Scottish government introduced policies to improve the treatment of depression and to reduce the very high level of suicide within our country, and there are now evidence-based interventions that are known to help. So why this call for action?
The simple fact is that depression remains a major issue for our society. We know that despite the good work done to date, two people per day still die by suicide in Scotland. 13 per cent of people report suicidal thoughts, 4 per cent attempt suicide and 2 per cent carry out deliberate self-harm at some point in their life. The desire to reduce this – and the distress felt by people and those around them – is one of key reasons for this new campaign.
One of the other reasons is that a staggering 10 per cent of the population of Scotland – that’s around half a million – are taking antidepressant medication. It may be argued that not all of these people actually need or benefit from the medication, but it does certainly indicate the level of depression and distress around us.
In the run-up to the campaign, Action on Depression has worked with two families bereaved by suicide who, despite their loss, are united in their determination to take action by raising funds in memory of their loved ones. They want to increase awareness of depression as a treatable condition for which there are many forms of help, and to encourage everyone to take action where they can.
One of these is Sandra Lindsay, who lost her daughter Mandy due to depression in November 2009.
“The loss of our daughter Mandy at the age of 24 was a horrendous blow to our family and local community in South Lanarkshire,” Sandra says. “People used the word tragic about Mandy, but Mandy wasn’t tragic, what happened to her was the tragedy. Mandy will always be missed. Since Mandy died, we have worked tirelessly to create a legacy in her memory through our local fundraising efforts which will continue.”
And Elizabeth Rattray from East Lothian lost her son Duncan, aged 36, due to depression in July 2010.
“Our eldest son Duncan took his own life last July at the age of 36,” Elizabeth says. “Duncan had been suffering from depression. Unfortunately we did not appreciate the seriousness of it until it was too late.”
It has to be remembered that two groups of families, friends and colleagues experience a similar sense of loss and pain every day.
Whilst there have been many improvements in the understanding and treatment of depression, it is still the case that many people are unable to get the right type of help. This is sometimes due to a lack of services or long waiting lists, but it can also be due to the person feeling too embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help.
Action on Depression today calls on people across Scotland to support them in taking action to defeat depression. They invite the public to consider what action they can take to support people with depression, and make sure their own well-being and those around them is as good as it can be.
With such levels of depression, it may seem like one person can’t make much of a difference, but Action on Depression feel that this couldn’t be further from the truth. They believe that individual actions can save lives, and that people working together as a movement can change attitudes and raise awareness across the board.
Some of the examples they give are things such as making sure you look after yourself by doing some things that you value and enjoy, and taking small steps to improve your life. Because there is so much misunderstanding, it could also be finding out more about the signs of depression or crucially asking for some help and support if you need it without delay.
Thankfully not everyone experiences depression, but Action on Depression still feel there are things that can be done by us all. It might be asking a friend or work colleague how they are feeling if you think they aren’t themselves – and give time for them to answer. Or what about raising the level of knowledge about depression by organising an awareness-raising session in your workplace or distributing leaflets and information about depression around your community?
Depression is both common and treatable, and the majority of people can and do recover given the right help and support. What would really move this on is if we were all just a bit more tuned-in to the issue and decided to do something about it.
Action on Depression will continue to campaign and to support people – support them by donating by txt: Send AODN 11 £5 to 70070
– Dave Bertin is service manager at Action on Depression.
BBC NEWS: One In Six Pupils Streamed By Age Seven
One in six children are being streamed by ability by the age of seven, according to research by the Institute of Education.
The researchers found boys were more likely to be placed in the bottom stream than girls.
They also found statistically children born in the autumn are more likely to be in the top classes than those with birthdays in spring or summer.
Ethnicity is not linked to stream placement, the researchers suggest.
'Life Chances Determined'
Professor Susan Hallam, the research project's leader, said: "Given the current emphasis on social mobility it is surprising that so many children are streamed at such a young age.
"We know that once in a stream the opportunities for movement to another stream are limited so life chances are being determined at a very early age."
Previous research has suggested streaming pupils does not raise standards, and can damage pupils' social development.
Prof Hallam described it as a "blunt instrument" which she thought had "pretty much died out". However, she did acknowledge it made teaching easier.
Former chief inspector of schools Sir Chris Woodhead said he was surprised and delighted schools were streaming children again.
"It seems to me that streaming is rather a good thing," he told the BBC's Today programme.
"The narrower the spread of abilities in the class, the more effective the teaching can be.
"If you have got children who can hardly read and children reading Lord of the Rings at the top end of primary school, then you have got a very tough job trying to challenge the most able and support the least able."
Child Poverty
This Institute of Education report, based on information from 8,875 children, said one in six children in the UK were placed in ability classes by the age of seven.
In Wales, one in five (19.5%) are assigned a stream at an early age while the figure is 17% in England, 16% in Scotland and 11% in Northern Ireland.
Children in larger, mixed-sex, non-faith, non-fee paying schools were more likely to be in streams than pupils in small, independent, single-sex or faith schools.
"Children at schools with mixed-year groups and those attending larger primary schools were more likely to be streamed than their peers in smaller primary schools," says the report.
"Particular groups were found to be over-represented in certain streams. Children in the bottom stream had experienced more consistent poverty and were more likely to have behavioural problems and mothers with fewer qualifications," it added.
"Girls were over-represented in the middle streams, boys in the bottom stream. Autumn-born children were over-represented in the top stream, summer-born in the middle and bottom streams."
The children are included in the Millennium Cohort Study, which is managed by the Centre for Longitudinal Studies at the Institute of Education.
A more extensive analysis of the data will be presented to the British Educational Research Association Conference in September.
From www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13772918
The researchers found boys were more likely to be placed in the bottom stream than girls.
They also found statistically children born in the autumn are more likely to be in the top classes than those with birthdays in spring or summer.
Ethnicity is not linked to stream placement, the researchers suggest.
'Life Chances Determined'
Professor Susan Hallam, the research project's leader, said: "Given the current emphasis on social mobility it is surprising that so many children are streamed at such a young age.
"We know that once in a stream the opportunities for movement to another stream are limited so life chances are being determined at a very early age."
Previous research has suggested streaming pupils does not raise standards, and can damage pupils' social development.
Prof Hallam described it as a "blunt instrument" which she thought had "pretty much died out". However, she did acknowledge it made teaching easier.
Former chief inspector of schools Sir Chris Woodhead said he was surprised and delighted schools were streaming children again.
"It seems to me that streaming is rather a good thing," he told the BBC's Today programme.
"The narrower the spread of abilities in the class, the more effective the teaching can be.
"If you have got children who can hardly read and children reading Lord of the Rings at the top end of primary school, then you have got a very tough job trying to challenge the most able and support the least able."
Child Poverty
This Institute of Education report, based on information from 8,875 children, said one in six children in the UK were placed in ability classes by the age of seven.
In Wales, one in five (19.5%) are assigned a stream at an early age while the figure is 17% in England, 16% in Scotland and 11% in Northern Ireland.
Children in larger, mixed-sex, non-faith, non-fee paying schools were more likely to be in streams than pupils in small, independent, single-sex or faith schools.
"Children at schools with mixed-year groups and those attending larger primary schools were more likely to be streamed than their peers in smaller primary schools," says the report.
"Particular groups were found to be over-represented in certain streams. Children in the bottom stream had experienced more consistent poverty and were more likely to have behavioural problems and mothers with fewer qualifications," it added.
"Girls were over-represented in the middle streams, boys in the bottom stream. Autumn-born children were over-represented in the top stream, summer-born in the middle and bottom streams."
The children are included in the Millennium Cohort Study, which is managed by the Centre for Longitudinal Studies at the Institute of Education.
A more extensive analysis of the data will be presented to the British Educational Research Association Conference in September.
From www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13772918
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
Abraham Hicks: A Dream That Is Alive Is Life
Hear below this powerful audio from Abraham-Hicks on the power of keeping optimistic and 'holding the faith' regards any ambition.
The Four Attitudes of Happiness
Published on June 7, 2011 by Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D. in Sapient Nature
We often hear the phrase, "Happiness is an attitude." What exactly does it mean? How can happiness be both an emotional end-state (as we know it to be) and an attitude-which is more like an opinion or judgment-at the same time?
We know that when we're happy, we look at the world differently, through rose tinted glasses as it were. We are more generous, expansive, and gregarious, and less prone to making negative judgments. So, being in a happy state leads to a certain way of looking at things, a certain attitude, if you will. Is that what people mean when they say happiness is an attitude-that being happy leads to a certain way of looking at things? If so, the statement isn't useful, since it doesn't tell us how to be happy. It merely sheds light on how we are when we are happy.
I prefer the following alternative interpretation of the phrase: Happiness comes more easily to those who have adopted a certain way of looking at things. In this view, attitude precedes-and determines-the quality of our emotional state.
At one level, it should be easy to understand how our attitudes can shape our emotions. Findings show that every time we experience an emotion-be it anger, anxiety, sadness, happiness, joy, love, or pride-it is always preceded by a set of thoughts that are unique to that emotion. For example, you may have been angry at your boss because you didn't get a promotion that you felt you deserved. The anger at your boss, in this case, is a response to the following type of thought: "My boss is preventing me from achieving a desired goal." Likewise, you may have felt anxious during a taxi ride to the airport because you weren't sure if you would make it to your flight on time. In this case, the anxiety was preceded by thoughts pertaining to uncertainty about catching your flight.
If emotions are always preceded by thoughts that are idiosyncratic to the emotion in question, it follows that we can change the emotion by changing the thoughts. Theoretically speaking, we could experience an entirely different emotion by merely re-interpreting a situation. For instance, the anger you feel at your boss for denying you a promotion can turn into gratitude if you focused, instead, on the fact that he hasn't fired you.
Sounds simple, right? Anytime you experience a negative emotion, all you need to do is to come up with a more positive re-interpretation of the event that induced the negative emotion and voila, you will start feeling positive!
It's simple in concept but difficult in practice. Further, you may wonder whether such positively biased re-interpretations are even desirable. You could argue that such positive reinterpretations could lead you to become a delusional personality-someone who doesn't see reality as it is.
I will revisit this point later. For now, let's focus on how one could go about re-interpreting outcomes and events to more frequently experience happiness.
There are four attitudes that are useful, all of which share the common underlying feature of directing thoughts toward a more favorable perspective. The first is adopting a more favorable perspective in interpreting the actions of other people.
Say you're in a taxicab and the driver appears to be taking a longer-than-normal route to your destination. An obvious interpretation is that the driver is trying to take advantage of you: he is trying to extract a higher fare from you. Alternative interpretations are also possible, including:
1 This is the only route he knows
2 There is construction going on in the shorter route
3 The route you know, although shorter in terms of distance, is longer in terms of time, etc.
Let's examine how your interactions with the driver would differ if you were to entertain these alternative interpretations of his behavior. If you adopted the obvious negative perspective-namely, that the driver is out to cheat you-you would naturally be angry. As a result, you would probably not chat with him during the drive and further, you would probably not tip him.
If, instead, you entertained the first alternative possibility (that he is unaware of the shorter route), you would probably say, "I think I know a shorter route" and wait for his response. If you entertained the second alternative possibility, you may say, "Is there construction going on in the other (shorter) route?" and again, wait to for his response. The interaction would undoubtedly be more pleasant if you were to adopt a more charitable interpretation of his behavior. As a result, even if the driver were actually cheating you, you would be more likely to get happiness-enhancing favors from him (e.g, he would perhaps assist you with your bags when you arrive at your destination, or switch to a radio station of your choice, etc.)
If your objective is to more regularly experience happiness, it follows that you would be better off by entertaining more positive interpretations of others' behaviors first, and only turn to the negative interpretations after ruling out the positive possibilities. Of course, you could only do this if the situation is relatively ambiguous and lends itself to multiple interpretations. (For example, there are few alternative positive interpretations when being mugged.) However, research shows that even in ambiguous situations - wherein people could legitimately entertain positive interpretations - most people's natural inclination is to turn to negative interpretations first. Recall the last time you could not find your wallet after the cleaning lady had come in? Most people in this situation first entertain the thought that the cleaning lady stole the wallet. This leads to a perfunctory search for the wallet which, in turn, makes it less likely that the wallet will be found, thus enhancing faith in the negative interpretation - a vicious cycle.
The second attitude involves adopting a more favorable interpretation in forecasting the impact of a present outcome on future outcomes.
Here's a fact: We're essentially incapable of figuring out the long-term consequences of a particular outcome such as missing a flight, failing to get a particular job, and so on. One reason for this is that we are incapable of assessing the relevance of particular outcomes for important long-term goals. Take the taxicab example again. Say, for instance, that you were able to rule out all alternative explanations for the driver's behavior and are thus forced to conclude that he took the longer route to extract a higher fare from you. Is this necessarily such a bad outcome (providing the extra money you paid isn't large)? Isn't it possible that some positive outcomes came about because of the driver's behaviour? Perhaps the longer route was more picturesque. Or, maybe the longer route gave you the opportunity to have a long and meaningful conversation with the driver. Or perhaps you would not have run into that other guest who checked in with you-and with whom you have now made dinner plans-had you arrived earlier.
The point is, almost always, an outcome that we initially judge as negative triggers a set of positive outcomes that could only have occurred because of the "negative" outcome. Thus, it is almost always possible to retrospectively judge a negative outcome as a blessing in disguise, but only if we choose to adopt this attitude. (Needless to say, I am leaving out extremely negative events- like the death of a child, or killing someone in an accident-here.)
Put differently, given the inherent randomness in life, it would appear perfectly justifiable to entertain the possibility that what you initially judged as a negative event could, in fact, be a good thing for you in the future. But most of us don't take such a perspective; instead, we are usually fully convinced about how we feel about outcomes. And by being so sure about our negativity, we invite more negativity into our lives. How so? Because the way others respond to us depends on how we interact with them; if we are negative when we interact with others, they are more likely to be negative towards us as well. Thus, for instance, anger at the taxicab driver makes you more prone to being irritable with the check-in clerk at the hotel, which, in turn, makes it more likely that you will get a room with a bad view, and so on. Looked at in this light, taking a positive view on what initially appears to be a negative event is much more likely to produce more positive outcomes - that is, a positive outlook literally changes the objective outcomes we experience. Thus, from the perspective of a person interested in maximizing happiness, it's a no-brainer to take the positive view.
You may yet remain unconvinced. You may claim that adoption of the positive view doesn't punish those who need to be punished. For instance, you may feel that you are responsible for punishing the taxi driver so that he doesn't cheat other passengers.
Although it is possible to make this type of argument to justify a negative response towards others, note that it is unclear whether your anger toward people makes them less or more likely to cheat in the future.
Research has shown that anger is contagious, and that when people are angry, their natural inclination is to behave in an antisocial manner. Thus, there is no guarantee that your anger towards the taxi driver will make him less prone to cheating in the future. Indeed, it is even possible that you are more likely to achieve your goal by being nice to him; findings in positive psychology show that people experience an emotion called elevation when others are kind to them, and this feeling leads to pro-social behaviors.
If you are still unconvinced and believe that nothing short of exhibiting anger at the driver will teach him a lesson, here's a win-win strategy: go ahead and get angry at the driver and give him a zero tip, but also go ahead and enjoy the positive outcomes (e.g, the good views) along the way. Why not? If your anger towards the taxi driver is for strategic reasons (to prevent him from teaching others) why let him dampen your spirits?
The third attitude is a variant of the first two, but rather than focusing on other people or on external events, it focuses on internalized assumptions about what leads to happiness.
If you ask people what it is that they need to get in order to be happy, they would find it relatively easy to come up with a rather long list, including:
1 Money
2 Love/sex
3 Eating out at fabulous restaurants
4 Fame
5 A position of power and importance
and so on...
But how accurate are our intuitions about what will make us happy? One way to find out is to give people whatever they think they need to be happy, and then see if they in fact are happier. Although such an experiment has not been conducted, we can arrive at some reliable conclusions about whether people's theories about the determinants of happiness are accurate. And it turns out that they are not.
For instance, people think that money will make them happier than it actually does. Money, although positively correlated with happiness, is only weakly so. As some recent findings by Hsee, Kahneman and others show, those with more money are a little more happy mainly because of the freedom that the money gives them to procure the things they need, and to do the things (e.g., pursue a hobby) they want to. In other words, it's not the money per se, but the doors that it opens, that brings happiness.
Another reason why money brings happiness is because we infer our capabilities by looking at our paychecks; in other words, those who have more money feel better about themselves (e.g, have higher self-respect) and this leads to greater happiness. If so, a person with less money could be just as happy by simply figuring out how to respect himself more internally - an issue I will touch upon shortly.
It's almost a no-brainer that material goods, possessions, fame and power do not bring lasting happiness; if anything, they can be said to cause greater unhappiness by setting ever higher aspiration levels - a phenomenon known as the hedonic treadmill effect. For example, a person with a little fame seeks to become more famous, and achieving the desired level of fame does make him happy, but only temporarily. Once he gets used to his new level of fame, he desires to be even more famous, and so on. The hedonic treadmill effect is true for the other determinants of happiness such as sex, possessions, and power as well.
Nevertheless, these determinants consistently figure in people's requirements for a happy life. Indeed, so blind is people's faith in their ability to bring happiness that, some of my own research findings show that, given a choice between two jobs: one that will bring greater happiness but won't pay as much and another that will be a constant source of stress but pays a lot, most experimental participants have little hesitation in choosing the latter.
It is as if in the pursuit of happiness, people have lost sight of what they are ultimately after (which is happiness) and focus, instead, on the things that they have always presumed will bring them happiness. What is particularly fascinating is that people never question their presumptions about what brings them happiness even if their presumptions are constantly disproved!
The third attitude to achieve happiness thus involves constantly questioning your theories about what you need in order to be happy. It also involves being courageous enough to jettison those assumptions that do not appear, on closer examination, to be true.
One of the first things we need to do is to explicitly articulate to ourselves that happiness is our ultimate goal. The goal of happiness should be accorded precedence over everything else: money, possessions, fame, and respect of others. In short, there are no sacred cows here: if we find that the things we thought would bring happiness - such as a bigger house or car, actually do not bring us happiness, whereas other things that we hadn't considered such as pursuing a hobby or visiting old friends do bring us happiness - then we must revise our views accordingly. Diligent subscription to such an attitude will lead to greater clarity about what truly brings happiness.
Subscription to the three attitudes described thus far will eventually lead to the adoption of a fourth attitude: enhanced confidence in your own ability to deal with anything that life throws at you.
In my opinion, this is the single biggest determinant of happiness. Why? For two reasons.
First, being confident about facing life's challenges generates positive emotions because the confidence will make you feel more hopeful about the future, and will thus enable you to look forward to life. And second, being confident enhances the chances of making positive events happen in your life. This is not because of magic, but because of what is known as the hypothesis confirmation bias.
The hypothesis confirmation bias refers to the following phenomenon: if you believe that a certain outcome will unfold (e.g, if you believe that you will get a job or that you will fail an exam), that outcome has a higher chance of occurring. In medical circles, this is called the placebo effect.
The hypothesis confirmation bias has been established so consistently and across such a wide variety of contexts that I will not dwell on it any more, except to emphasize that if you fully entertain alternative - and more positive - interpretations of others' behaviors and outcomes, your future will have a greater number of objective more positive outcomes. This is guaranteed, statistically speaking.
It is important to note that the analysis I have provided herein is entirely scientific. I have provided logical - and in many cases, empirically validated - reasons for why adoption of the Four Attitudes leads to happiness.
However, a potentially legitimate concern remains to be addressed: Will the adoption of these attitudes lead to becoming delusional?
Let's say, for instance, that you recently goofed up a presentation because of which you lost an important business client. Shouldn't you recognize that you failed at the presentation rather than adopting a positive interpretation of it (such as, for example, feeling happy that the client didn't thrown rotten eggs at you)? Wouldn't the adoption of a positive outlook in this instance make you delusional and prevent you from learning from your mistakes?
Not really. First - and this is important to recognize - adopting the Four Attitudes is not the same as ignoring reality. In the context of interpreting other people's actions, we would be ignoring reality if we always attributed only positive motives to others' actions even when all the evidence were to the contrary. In the context of judging outcomes, we would be ignoring the reality if we failed to acknowledge the downstream negative consequences. I am not recommending ignoring reality; rather, I am advocating developing the attitude of focusing on the plausible positive possibilities.
It is important to note, from the perspective of learning from past outcomes, that it is adopting a positive outlook that permits you to learn -by allowing you to move on and not ruminate on the past.
Recall the last time you made a fool of yourself in a presentation or suffered some such ignominy. Perhaps the shame and embarrassment enhanced your resolve to take steps to avoid similar outcomes in the future, but note that your learnings did not come from the negativity; in fact, you could only learn when you moved past the negativity. Adopting a positive attitude, as studies on resilience have shown, helps you move past negative outcomes more quickly, and thus, accelerate the speed at which you learn. A person who dwells on the past isn't capable of learning.
Second, as Jonathan Haidt and some others have argued, it is those with a positive outlook who are more aligned with reality than those with a negative outlook. How so? Because, in general, people are more negative than they should be; that is, people have a tendency to be overly skeptical - a phenomenon referred to as negativity dominance. So, far from being delusional, you would actually be more realistic if you were more positive.
Third, for reasons already discussed, people with a positive outlook will attract more positive outcomes in their lives. As such, even if others see you as being a little delusional, they will simultaneously recognize that you are generally good at achieving your goals. In other words, they will recognize and appreciate your optimism and positivity, and will make note of your resilience. As such, you will come to be known as someone who can take on challenging assignments and complete them. Ask any boss, and he will tell you that he would much rather have someone who is enthusiastic and positive than someone who is pessimistic.
It is thus no surprise that it is the happy people who are the more successful at work; on average, the most happy workers command a wage difference of over 20% over their least happy counterparts.
We can now return to the original question: "Is happiness an attitude?"
The answer clearly appears to be "No!," but we can say that "Happiness results from the adoption of the Four Attitudes." We can also say that the Four Attitudes are available for anyone who wants to adopt them - anyone who is open-minded enough to give it a try for a few days or weeks and see whether life does, in fact, take a turn for the better.
As already mentioned, the Four Attitudes, while simple in concept, are difficult to put in practice. However, the good news is that we can start the practice immediately - we don't need separate preparation to get ready. After all, life is constantly throwing things at you. Even as you finish reading this, there's an opportunity for you take a more positive perspective on something that just happened (or will happen soon)!
Good luck ☺!
From http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sapient-nature/201106/the-four-attitudes-happiness
BBC News: Depression May Double Dementia Risk, Say Researchers
Experts know that the two conditions often co-exist, but it is not clear if one actually leads to the other.
Now two studies published in the American journal Neurology suggest depression does mean dementia is more likely, although they do not show why.
And the researchers stress that the findings merely reveal a link, not a direct cause.
They say more studies are needed to find out why the two conditions are linked.
They believe brain chemistry and lifestyle factors like diet and the amount of social time a person engages in may play a role.
Dr Jane Saczynski of the University of Massachusetts, who led the first of the two studies, said: "While it's unclear if depression causes dementia, there are a number of ways depression might impact the risk of dementia.
"Inflammation of brain tissue that occurs when a person is depressed might contribute to dementia. Certain proteins found in the brain that increase with depression may also increase the risk of developing dementia."
Her study, which followed 949 elderly people for 17 years, showed dementia more often followed a bout of depression.
By the end of the study, 164 of the people had developed dementia.
Specifically, 22% of those who had depression went on to develop dementia compared to 17% of those who did not have depression.
The second study, meanwhile, followed 1,239 US people and looked at the number of times a person experienced depression related to their risk of dementia.
It showed that the more times someone experienced depression, the higher their dementia risk was.
Having two or more episodes of depression nearly doubled the risk of dementia.
Rebecca Wood, chief executive of the Alzheimer's Research Trust, said: "Similarities in symptoms between dementia and depression can mean the two are sometimes confused at time of diagnosis, but we don't know if they are biologically linked.
"These latest studies suggest that there may be profound connections between dementia and depression so we must expand the research to find out more."
Professor Clive Ballard of the Alzheimer's Society agreed that more research was now needed to establish why the link exists.
"It is well known depression is common in early stages of dementia. What this study demonstrates is that depression at a younger age is probably a significant risk factor for dementia," he said.
From http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10507074
Hear below what Abraham-Hicks has to say about dementia:
Monday, 13 June 2011
BBC Health: Anger Management
Everyone feels their anger is justified when they're actually angry. Equally, we've all looked back and realised we may have overreacted. But for some people, anger can become a problem that needs to be addressed.
Understanding Anger
It's important to realise several things about anger before you start tackling it. First, anger is a normal process that has allowed humans to evolve and adapt. It isn't a bad thing in itself, but problems occur if it isn't managed in the right way.
Anger is also a mixture of both emotional and physical changes. A big surge of energy goes through your body as chemicals, such as adrenaline, are released.
Once the cause of the anger is resolved, you may still have to deal with the physical effects - all that energy has to go somewhere. This can be taken out on another person, such as a partner, or an object - by punching a wall, for example. This last option can lead down the road to self-harm.
The other alternative is to suppress the energy until the next time you're angry. This may mean you release so much pent-up emotion that you overreact to the situation. Realising this can lead to feelings of shame or frustration when you reflect on your actions, and to further repression of your feelings.
On the other hand, just letting your anger go in an uncontrolled fashion can lead to a move from verbal aggression to physical abuse - don't forget, the other person is probably feeling angry with you too.
But there is a flip side to anger. Because of the surge of energy it creates, it can be pleasurable. This feeling is reinforced if becoming angry allows the release of feelings of frustration, or if a person's response to your anger gives you a sense of power.
It's important to acknowledge and keep an eye on this side of the problem - it can have an almost addictive element.
Recognising Why You Get Angry
It's important to be aware of the positive feelings you get from anger as well as the negative ones.
By recognising the positive and negative feelings associated with your anger, it's important to find other means of concentrating on the positives ones.
Each person's positives are different, so there will be different solutions for everyone, but some strategies might include:
• Trying a non-contact competitive sport
• Learning relaxation or meditation
• Shouting and screaming in a private, quiet place
• Banging your fists into a pillow
• Going running
Any of these may help to vent your frustration and burn off any feelings you're bottling up.
Anger Management Techniques
However, this still leaves the problem of dealing differently with those situations that make you angry. This takes practice.
The first thing to do is list the situations that make you angry. Note down exactly what it is about them that makes you angry - it may be the immediate situation, or it could be that it represents a build-up of issues you haven't resolved.
Now ask yourself four questions about your interpretation of these situations:
1. What evidence is there to show this is accurate?
2. Is there another equally believable interpretation of what's going on here?
3. What action can I take to have some control of the situation?
4. If my best friend were in this situation, what advice would I give to them?
This won't dispel the anger for every situation, but when you're angry it can be difficult to assess a situation accurately. If a situation arises unexpectedly and you feel your temper rising, walk away and complete this exercise if you can.
If your anger is not resolved by this, make sure you've given enough thought to what exactly you’re angry about. It will usually involve a person, but not necessarily the one who's the target of your anger in the situation and this is the person you need to work the situation out with.
You need to be sure exactly what you're angry about before you can resolve it. It will usually involve a person, but not necessarily the one who's the target of your anger in the situation and this is the person you need to work the situation out with.
To do this, find a time to raise the problem when you feel more in control of your temper. It may be a good idea to agree a time in advance.
CUDSAIR
It may feel like a tall order to discuss the issue without getting angry, but following a plan may help. Professor Richard Nelson-Jones has developed a good structure to use, called CUDSAIR. This stands for:
• Confront
• Understand
• Define
• Search
• Agree
• Implement
• Review
First, it's important that you confront the problem and not the person. State the nature of the problem and how it makes you feel. Be clear that it's the problem - not the person - that makes you feel like this. This way you'll develop a joint definition and ownership of what's going on.
Next, it's important to understand each other's view of the situation. It may help to agree that each person should be able to say what they think about the problem without being interrupted by the other. After this, identify areas where you disagree. Don't discuss the disagreements yet, just agree that you disagree. This is how you define the problem.
The next step is to search for solutions. Here, be as outrageous as you like - but again, don't make personal attacks. Generate as many possible solutions as you can - at the moment, it doesn't matter how unrealistic they seem.
Finally, you have to agree on a solution. This is probably the most delicate part of the whole process. It's important that you both make concessions and acknowledge those that the other person has made. It's also important not to have unrealistic expectations - it's likely that the final solution won't be ideal for either of you, but the resulting compromise will probably be better than the problems the anger generated.
It's important that you both keep to the agreement. It's also important not to overreact to any breaches. Point them out, but there's no need to get angry. You have the agreement to back you up.
However well you both stick to the agreement, it's worth having a review some time in the future to go through the CUDSAIR model again and see if things can't be improved further.
Taken from www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/coping_angermanagement.shtml
Hear below what Abraham-Hicks has to say about all emotions and the emotion of anger:
Understanding Anger
It's important to realise several things about anger before you start tackling it. First, anger is a normal process that has allowed humans to evolve and adapt. It isn't a bad thing in itself, but problems occur if it isn't managed in the right way.
Anger is also a mixture of both emotional and physical changes. A big surge of energy goes through your body as chemicals, such as adrenaline, are released.
Once the cause of the anger is resolved, you may still have to deal with the physical effects - all that energy has to go somewhere. This can be taken out on another person, such as a partner, or an object - by punching a wall, for example. This last option can lead down the road to self-harm.
The other alternative is to suppress the energy until the next time you're angry. This may mean you release so much pent-up emotion that you overreact to the situation. Realising this can lead to feelings of shame or frustration when you reflect on your actions, and to further repression of your feelings.
On the other hand, just letting your anger go in an uncontrolled fashion can lead to a move from verbal aggression to physical abuse - don't forget, the other person is probably feeling angry with you too.
But there is a flip side to anger. Because of the surge of energy it creates, it can be pleasurable. This feeling is reinforced if becoming angry allows the release of feelings of frustration, or if a person's response to your anger gives you a sense of power.
It's important to acknowledge and keep an eye on this side of the problem - it can have an almost addictive element.
Recognising Why You Get Angry
It's important to be aware of the positive feelings you get from anger as well as the negative ones.
By recognising the positive and negative feelings associated with your anger, it's important to find other means of concentrating on the positives ones.
Each person's positives are different, so there will be different solutions for everyone, but some strategies might include:
• Trying a non-contact competitive sport
• Learning relaxation or meditation
• Shouting and screaming in a private, quiet place
• Banging your fists into a pillow
• Going running
Any of these may help to vent your frustration and burn off any feelings you're bottling up.
Anger Management Techniques
However, this still leaves the problem of dealing differently with those situations that make you angry. This takes practice.
The first thing to do is list the situations that make you angry. Note down exactly what it is about them that makes you angry - it may be the immediate situation, or it could be that it represents a build-up of issues you haven't resolved.
Now ask yourself four questions about your interpretation of these situations:
1. What evidence is there to show this is accurate?
2. Is there another equally believable interpretation of what's going on here?
3. What action can I take to have some control of the situation?
4. If my best friend were in this situation, what advice would I give to them?
This won't dispel the anger for every situation, but when you're angry it can be difficult to assess a situation accurately. If a situation arises unexpectedly and you feel your temper rising, walk away and complete this exercise if you can.
If your anger is not resolved by this, make sure you've given enough thought to what exactly you’re angry about. It will usually involve a person, but not necessarily the one who's the target of your anger in the situation and this is the person you need to work the situation out with.
You need to be sure exactly what you're angry about before you can resolve it. It will usually involve a person, but not necessarily the one who's the target of your anger in the situation and this is the person you need to work the situation out with.
To do this, find a time to raise the problem when you feel more in control of your temper. It may be a good idea to agree a time in advance.
CUDSAIR
It may feel like a tall order to discuss the issue without getting angry, but following a plan may help. Professor Richard Nelson-Jones has developed a good structure to use, called CUDSAIR. This stands for:
• Confront
• Understand
• Define
• Search
• Agree
• Implement
• Review
First, it's important that you confront the problem and not the person. State the nature of the problem and how it makes you feel. Be clear that it's the problem - not the person - that makes you feel like this. This way you'll develop a joint definition and ownership of what's going on.
Next, it's important to understand each other's view of the situation. It may help to agree that each person should be able to say what they think about the problem without being interrupted by the other. After this, identify areas where you disagree. Don't discuss the disagreements yet, just agree that you disagree. This is how you define the problem.
The next step is to search for solutions. Here, be as outrageous as you like - but again, don't make personal attacks. Generate as many possible solutions as you can - at the moment, it doesn't matter how unrealistic they seem.
Finally, you have to agree on a solution. This is probably the most delicate part of the whole process. It's important that you both make concessions and acknowledge those that the other person has made. It's also important not to have unrealistic expectations - it's likely that the final solution won't be ideal for either of you, but the resulting compromise will probably be better than the problems the anger generated.
It's important that you both keep to the agreement. It's also important not to overreact to any breaches. Point them out, but there's no need to get angry. You have the agreement to back you up.
However well you both stick to the agreement, it's worth having a review some time in the future to go through the CUDSAIR model again and see if things can't be improved further.
Taken from www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/coping_angermanagement.shtml
Hear below what Abraham-Hicks has to say about all emotions and the emotion of anger:
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Dr Robert Anthony: How To Raise Your Vibration Level Instantly...
I would like to continue our discussion of the WAY IT IS a little further so that you really get what's happening. I realize your teachers, parents, mentors and those around you have taught you to tell your story about the WAY IT IS. After all, that is "reality".
But here is what you must do. You must begin to tell your story about the way you want your life to be. Tell your story of the way you want it to be until you begin to believe the story. (After all, you believe the story you are telling now as though it were true!) When you believe your new story, your vibration will shift and the universe will match your story. The universe is always matching your vibrational energy. Most people don't know they can offer a vibration that matches what they want. Instead they believe they should offer a story about the WAY IT IS, not realizing they are attracting more of the WAY IT IS.
You can get swept up in the WAY IT IS because the WAY IT IS gets your attention. The reason for this is all of our physical senses are designed to help you observe your environment. What you see with your eyes is a translation of vibration, what you smell with your nose is a translation of vibration. What you feel with your fingertips is a translation of vibration. What hear with your ears and taste with your tongue is a translation of vibration. You are a veritable vibrational interpreter. I just want you to realize that the true interpretation of the vibration that is going on within you is translated into emotion. Your emotions are really telling you the story you want to be aware of.
So when you feel negative emotion what your inner guidance is telling you is you've got chronic thoughts going on, and more importantly current thoughts in the moment that are not a match to what you want. And, depending how strong the negative emotions are, it will determine to what extent your thoughts are in alignment with your desire. Negative emotion is always the indicator.
When you feel ANY negative emotion it is time to pay attention because you are going in the wrong direction. You are moving AWAY from your desires. Use this powerful indicator to your advantage and shift your energy in that moment and start moving TOWARDS what you desire by changing your story from the WAY IT IS to the way you want it to be.
But here is what you must do. You must begin to tell your story about the way you want your life to be. Tell your story of the way you want it to be until you begin to believe the story. (After all, you believe the story you are telling now as though it were true!) When you believe your new story, your vibration will shift and the universe will match your story. The universe is always matching your vibrational energy. Most people don't know they can offer a vibration that matches what they want. Instead they believe they should offer a story about the WAY IT IS, not realizing they are attracting more of the WAY IT IS.
You can get swept up in the WAY IT IS because the WAY IT IS gets your attention. The reason for this is all of our physical senses are designed to help you observe your environment. What you see with your eyes is a translation of vibration, what you smell with your nose is a translation of vibration. What you feel with your fingertips is a translation of vibration. What hear with your ears and taste with your tongue is a translation of vibration. You are a veritable vibrational interpreter. I just want you to realize that the true interpretation of the vibration that is going on within you is translated into emotion. Your emotions are really telling you the story you want to be aware of.
So when you feel negative emotion what your inner guidance is telling you is you've got chronic thoughts going on, and more importantly current thoughts in the moment that are not a match to what you want. And, depending how strong the negative emotions are, it will determine to what extent your thoughts are in alignment with your desire. Negative emotion is always the indicator.
When you feel ANY negative emotion it is time to pay attention because you are going in the wrong direction. You are moving AWAY from your desires. Use this powerful indicator to your advantage and shift your energy in that moment and start moving TOWARDS what you desire by changing your story from the WAY IT IS to the way you want it to be.
Dr Robert Anthony: You Must KNOW This...
We talk a lot about change, but where does the power to change come from? I can tell you this; it is not from your mind. Your mind only knows what it has been conditioned to believe. In order to make permanent and lasting change you must know the source of your true power.
You must KNOW, not just believe, that you are Source Energy in a physical body and that the Source Energy part of you remains in the non-physical or vibrational realm, while the physical part of you is functioning in the physical dimension. But you cannot separate yourself EVER from the Source Energy that is you.
It is always pulsing strong within you. The Source Energy that is pulsing strong within you knows your true value and your true power. But when you forget WHO YOU ARE, it causes a problem in your vibration. The Source Energy within you loves you and others around you and when you don't, you cause discord in your vibrational energy.
The way it works is, you came forth in this physical body and in the moment you came forth you gained the perspective of your physical environment, but you also always have this larger perspective of Source Energy pulsing through you. And in the moment you were born those two perspectives began to give you vibrational feedback - the relationship between the Source Energy and the physical side of you. It began giving you feedback just like every guidance system in the world does.
So now you have these two points of vibrations. The unlimited Source Energy that you are, and who you think you are - your personality. And in the moment when you feel negative emotion it means that the Source Energy that you are has a very different point of view of whatever your object of attention is within you.
This is your indication you are out of alignment.
Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation that you are making progress - IF YOU LOOK FOR IT! No matter how large or small, please record it in your Evidence Journal. It will only take a few moments and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.
Hear this powerful audio from Abraham-Hicks about the Law of Attraction and how to use it to improve your life experience:
You must KNOW, not just believe, that you are Source Energy in a physical body and that the Source Energy part of you remains in the non-physical or vibrational realm, while the physical part of you is functioning in the physical dimension. But you cannot separate yourself EVER from the Source Energy that is you.
It is always pulsing strong within you. The Source Energy that is pulsing strong within you knows your true value and your true power. But when you forget WHO YOU ARE, it causes a problem in your vibration. The Source Energy within you loves you and others around you and when you don't, you cause discord in your vibrational energy.
The way it works is, you came forth in this physical body and in the moment you came forth you gained the perspective of your physical environment, but you also always have this larger perspective of Source Energy pulsing through you. And in the moment you were born those two perspectives began to give you vibrational feedback - the relationship between the Source Energy and the physical side of you. It began giving you feedback just like every guidance system in the world does.
So now you have these two points of vibrations. The unlimited Source Energy that you are, and who you think you are - your personality. And in the moment when you feel negative emotion it means that the Source Energy that you are has a very different point of view of whatever your object of attention is within you.
This is your indication you are out of alignment.
Today will bring you a new awareness, a lesson or a manifestation that you are making progress - IF YOU LOOK FOR IT! No matter how large or small, please record it in your Evidence Journal. It will only take a few moments and will AUTOMATICALLY put you in the Flow.
Hear this powerful audio from Abraham-Hicks about the Law of Attraction and how to use it to improve your life experience:
60 Small Ways To Improve Your Life
Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to make drastic changes in order to notice an improvement in the quality of your life.
At the same time, you don't need to wait a long time in order to see the measurable results that come from taking positive action. All you have to do is take small steps, and take them consistently, for a period of 100 days.
Below you'll find 60 small ways to improve all areas of your life in the next 100 days.
Home
1. Create a "100 Days to Conquer Clutter Calendar" by penciling in one group of items you plan to declutter every day, for the next 100 days.
Here's an example:
• Day 1: Declutter Magazines
• Day 2: Declutter DVD's
• Day 3: Declutter books
• Day 4: Declutter kitchen appliances
2. Live by the mantra: a place for everything and everything in its place.
For the next 100 days follow these four rules to keep your house in order:
• If you take it out, put it back.
• If you open it, close it.
• If you throw it down, pick it up.
• If you take it off, hang it up.
3. Walk around your home and identify 100 things you've been tolerating; fix one each day.
Here are some examples:
• A burnt light bulb that needs to be changed.
• A button that's missing on your favorite shirt.
• The fact that every time you open your top kitchen cabinet all of the plastic food containers fall out.
Happiness
4. Follow the advice proffered by positive psychologists and write down 5 to 10 things that you're grateful for, every day.
5. Make a list of 20 small things that you enjoy doing, and make sure that you do at least one of these things every day for the next 100 days.
Your list can include things such as the following:
• Eating your lunch outside.
• Calling your best friend to chat.
• Taking the time to sit down and read a novel by your favorite author for a few minutes.
6. Keep a log of your mental chatter, both positive and negative, for ten days.
Be as specific as possible:
• How many times do you beat yourself up during the day?
• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
• Are you constantly thinking critical thoughts of others?
• How many positive thoughts do you have during the day?
Also, make a note of the emotions that accompany these thoughts. Then, for the next 90 days, begin changing your emotions for the better by modifying your mental chatter.
7. For the next 100 days, have a good laugh at least once a day: get one of those calendars that has a different joke for every day of the year, or stop by a web site that features your favorite cartoons.
Learning/Personal Development
8. Choose a book that requires effort and concentration and read a little of it every day, so that you read it from cover to cover in 100 days.
9. Make it a point to learn at least one new thing each day: the name of a flower that grows in your garden, the capital of a far-off country, or the name of a piece of classical music you hear playing in your favorite clothing boutique as you shop. If it's time for bed and you can't identify anything you've learned that day, take out your dictionary and learn a new word.
10. Stop complaining for the next 100 days. A couple of years back, Will Bowen gave a purple rubber bracelet to each person in his congregation to remind them to stop complaining. "Negative talk produces negative thoughts; negative thoughts produce negative results", says Bowen. For the next 100 days, whenever you catch yourself complaining about anything, stop yourself.
11. Set your alarm a minute earlier every day for the next 100 days. Then make sure that you get out of bed as soon as your alarm rings, open the windows to let in some sunlight, and do some light stretching. In 100 days you'll be waking up an hour and forty minutes earlier than you're waking up now.
12. For the next 100 days, keep Morning Pages, which is a tool suggested by Julia Cameron. Morning Pages are simply three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning.
13. For the next 100 days make it a point to feed your mind with the thoughts, words, and images that are most consistent with who you want to be, what you want to have, and what you want to achieve.
Finances
14. Create a spending plan (also known as a budget). Track every cent that you spend for the next 100 days to make sure that you're sticking to your spending plan.
15. Scour the Internet for frugality tips, choose ten of the tips that you find, and apply them for the next 100 days.
Here are some possibilities:
• Go to the grocery store with cash and a calculator instead of using your debit card.
• Take inventory before going to the grocery store to avoid buying repeat items.
• Scale back the cable.
• Ask yourself if you really need a landline telephone.
• Consolidate errands into one trip to save on gas.
Keep track of how much money you save over the next 100 days by applying these tips.
16. For the next 100 days, pay for everything with paper money and keep any change that you receive. Then, put all of your change in a jar and see how much money you can accumulate in 100 days.
17. Don't buy anything that you don't absolutely need for 100 days. Use any money you save by doing this to do one of the following:
• Pay down your debt, if you have any.
• Put it toward your six month emergency fund.
• Start setting aside money to invest.
18. Set an hour aside every day for the next 100 days to devote to creating one source of passive income.
Time Management
19. For the next 100 days, take a notebook with you everywhere in order to keep your mind decluttered. Record everything, so that it's safely stored in one place - out of your head - where you can decide what to do with it later.
Include things such as the following:
• Ideas for writing assignments.
• Appointment dates.
• To Do list items.
20. Track how you spend your time for 5 days. Use the information that you gather in order to create a time budget: the percentage of your time that you want to devote to each activity that you engage in on a regular basis.
This can include things such as:
• Transportation
• Housework
• Leisure
• Income-Generating Activities
Make sure that you stick to your time budget for the remaining 95 days.
21. Identify one low-priority activity which you can stop doing for the next 100 days, and devote that time to a high priority task instead.
22. Identify five ways in which you regularly waste time, and limit the time that you're going to spend on these activities each day, for the next 100 days.
Here are three examples:
• Watch no more than half-an-hour of television a day.
• Spend no more than half-an-hour each day on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Stumbleupon.
• Spend no more than twenty minutes a day playing video games.
23. For the next 100 days, stop multi-tasking; do one thing at a time without distractions.
24. For the next 100 days, plan your day the night before.
25. For the next 100 days, do the most important thing on your To-Do list first, before you do anything else.
26. For the next 14 weeks, conduct a review of each week. During your weekly review, answer the following:
• What did you accomplish?
• What went wrong?
• What went right?
27. For the next 100 days, spend a few minutes at the end of each day organizing your desk, filing papers, and making sure that your work area is clean and orderly, so that you can walk in to a neat desk the next day.
28. Make a list of all of the commitments and social obligations that you have in the next 100 days. Then, take out a red pen and cross out anything that does not truly bring you joy or help move you along the path to achieving your main life goals.
29. For the next 100 days, every time that you switch to a new activity throughout the day stop and ask yourself, "Is this the best use of my time at this moment?"
Health
30. Losing a pound of fat requires burning 3500 calories. If you reduce your caloric intake by 175 calories a day for the next 100 days, you'll have lost 5 pounds in the next 100 days.
31. For the next 100 days, eat five servings of vegetables every day.
32. For the next 100 days, eat three servings of fruit of every day.
33. Choose one food that constantly sabotages your efforts to eat healthier - whether it's the decadent cheesecake from the bakery around the corner, deep-dish pizza, or your favorite potato chips - and go cold turkey for the next 100 days.
34. For the next 100 days, eat from a smaller plate to help control portion size.
35. For the next 100 days, buy 100% natural juices instead of the kind with added sugar and preservatives.
36. For the next 100 days, instead of carbonated drinks, drink water.
37. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix breakfast meals.
38. Create a list of 20 healthy, easy to fix meals which can be eaten for lunch or dinner.
39. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix snacks.
40. Use your lists of healthy breakfast meals, lunches, dinners, and snacks in order to plan out your meals for the week ahead of time. Do this for the next 14 weeks.
41. For the next 100 days, keep a food log. This will help you to identify where you're deviating from your planned menu, and where you're consuming extra calories.
42. For the next 100 days, get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.
43. Wear a pedometer and walk 10,000 steps, every day, for the next 100 days.
Every step you take during the day counts toward the 10,000 steps:
• When you walk to your car.
• When you walk from your desk to the bathroom.
• When you walk over to talk to a co-worker, and so on.
44. Set up a weight chart and post it up in your bathroom. Every week for the next 14 weeks, keep track of the following:
• Your weight.
• Your percentage of body fat.
• Your waist circumference.
45. For the next 100 days, set your watch to beep once an hour, or set up a computer reminder, to make sure that you drink water on a regular basis throughout the day.
46. For the next 100 days, make it a daily ritual to mediate, breath, or visualize every day in order to calm your mind.
Your Relationship
47. For the next 100 days, actively look for something positive in your partner every day, and write it down.
48. Create a scrapbook of all the things you and your partner do together during the next 100 days. At the end of the 100 days, give your partner the list you created of positive things you observed about them each day, as well as the scrapbook you created.
49. Identify 3 actions that you're going to take each day, for the next 100 days, in order to strengthen your relationship.
These can include the following:
• Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" to your significant other every morning.
• Hug your significant other as soon as you see each other after work.
• Go for a twenty minute walk together every day after dinner; hold hands.
Social
50. Connect with someone new every day for the next 100 days, whether it's by greeting a neighbor you've never spoken to before, following someone new on Twitter, leaving a comment on a blog you've never commented on before, and so on.
51. For the next 100 days, make it a point to associate with people you admire, respect and want to be like.
52. For the next 100 days, when someone does or says something that upsets you, take a minute to think over your response instead of answering right away.
53. For the next 100 days, don't even think of passing judgment until you've heard both sides of the story.
54. For the next 100 days do one kind deed for someone every day, however small, even if it's just sending a silent blessing their way.
55. For the next 100 days, make it a point to give praise and approval to those who deserve it.
56. For the next 100 days, practice active listening. When someone is talking to you, remain focused on what they're saying, instead of rehearsing in your head what you're going to say next. Paraphrase what you think you heard them say to make sure that you haven't misinterpreted them, and encourage them to elaborate on any points you're still not clear about.
57. Practice empathy for the next 100 days. If you disagree with someone, try to see the world from their perspective; put yourself in their shoes. Be curious about the other person, about their beliefs and their life experience, and about the thinking process that they followed to reach their conclusions.
58. For the next 100 days, stay in your own life and don't compare yourself to anyone else.
59. For the next 100 days, place the best possible interpretation on the actions of others.
60. For the next 100 days, keep reminding yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can.
From www.selfhelpstreet.com
At the same time, you don't need to wait a long time in order to see the measurable results that come from taking positive action. All you have to do is take small steps, and take them consistently, for a period of 100 days.
Below you'll find 60 small ways to improve all areas of your life in the next 100 days.
Home
1. Create a "100 Days to Conquer Clutter Calendar" by penciling in one group of items you plan to declutter every day, for the next 100 days.
Here's an example:
• Day 1: Declutter Magazines
• Day 2: Declutter DVD's
• Day 3: Declutter books
• Day 4: Declutter kitchen appliances
2. Live by the mantra: a place for everything and everything in its place.
For the next 100 days follow these four rules to keep your house in order:
• If you take it out, put it back.
• If you open it, close it.
• If you throw it down, pick it up.
• If you take it off, hang it up.
3. Walk around your home and identify 100 things you've been tolerating; fix one each day.
Here are some examples:
• A burnt light bulb that needs to be changed.
• A button that's missing on your favorite shirt.
• The fact that every time you open your top kitchen cabinet all of the plastic food containers fall out.
Happiness
4. Follow the advice proffered by positive psychologists and write down 5 to 10 things that you're grateful for, every day.
5. Make a list of 20 small things that you enjoy doing, and make sure that you do at least one of these things every day for the next 100 days.
Your list can include things such as the following:
• Eating your lunch outside.
• Calling your best friend to chat.
• Taking the time to sit down and read a novel by your favorite author for a few minutes.
6. Keep a log of your mental chatter, both positive and negative, for ten days.
Be as specific as possible:
• How many times do you beat yourself up during the day?
• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
• Are you constantly thinking critical thoughts of others?
• How many positive thoughts do you have during the day?
Also, make a note of the emotions that accompany these thoughts. Then, for the next 90 days, begin changing your emotions for the better by modifying your mental chatter.
7. For the next 100 days, have a good laugh at least once a day: get one of those calendars that has a different joke for every day of the year, or stop by a web site that features your favorite cartoons.
Learning/Personal Development
8. Choose a book that requires effort and concentration and read a little of it every day, so that you read it from cover to cover in 100 days.
9. Make it a point to learn at least one new thing each day: the name of a flower that grows in your garden, the capital of a far-off country, or the name of a piece of classical music you hear playing in your favorite clothing boutique as you shop. If it's time for bed and you can't identify anything you've learned that day, take out your dictionary and learn a new word.
10. Stop complaining for the next 100 days. A couple of years back, Will Bowen gave a purple rubber bracelet to each person in his congregation to remind them to stop complaining. "Negative talk produces negative thoughts; negative thoughts produce negative results", says Bowen. For the next 100 days, whenever you catch yourself complaining about anything, stop yourself.
11. Set your alarm a minute earlier every day for the next 100 days. Then make sure that you get out of bed as soon as your alarm rings, open the windows to let in some sunlight, and do some light stretching. In 100 days you'll be waking up an hour and forty minutes earlier than you're waking up now.
12. For the next 100 days, keep Morning Pages, which is a tool suggested by Julia Cameron. Morning Pages are simply three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning.
13. For the next 100 days make it a point to feed your mind with the thoughts, words, and images that are most consistent with who you want to be, what you want to have, and what you want to achieve.
Finances
14. Create a spending plan (also known as a budget). Track every cent that you spend for the next 100 days to make sure that you're sticking to your spending plan.
15. Scour the Internet for frugality tips, choose ten of the tips that you find, and apply them for the next 100 days.
Here are some possibilities:
• Go to the grocery store with cash and a calculator instead of using your debit card.
• Take inventory before going to the grocery store to avoid buying repeat items.
• Scale back the cable.
• Ask yourself if you really need a landline telephone.
• Consolidate errands into one trip to save on gas.
Keep track of how much money you save over the next 100 days by applying these tips.
16. For the next 100 days, pay for everything with paper money and keep any change that you receive. Then, put all of your change in a jar and see how much money you can accumulate in 100 days.
17. Don't buy anything that you don't absolutely need for 100 days. Use any money you save by doing this to do one of the following:
• Pay down your debt, if you have any.
• Put it toward your six month emergency fund.
• Start setting aside money to invest.
18. Set an hour aside every day for the next 100 days to devote to creating one source of passive income.
Time Management
19. For the next 100 days, take a notebook with you everywhere in order to keep your mind decluttered. Record everything, so that it's safely stored in one place - out of your head - where you can decide what to do with it later.
Include things such as the following:
• Ideas for writing assignments.
• Appointment dates.
• To Do list items.
20. Track how you spend your time for 5 days. Use the information that you gather in order to create a time budget: the percentage of your time that you want to devote to each activity that you engage in on a regular basis.
This can include things such as:
• Transportation
• Housework
• Leisure
• Income-Generating Activities
Make sure that you stick to your time budget for the remaining 95 days.
21. Identify one low-priority activity which you can stop doing for the next 100 days, and devote that time to a high priority task instead.
22. Identify five ways in which you regularly waste time, and limit the time that you're going to spend on these activities each day, for the next 100 days.
Here are three examples:
• Watch no more than half-an-hour of television a day.
• Spend no more than half-an-hour each day on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Stumbleupon.
• Spend no more than twenty minutes a day playing video games.
23. For the next 100 days, stop multi-tasking; do one thing at a time without distractions.
24. For the next 100 days, plan your day the night before.
25. For the next 100 days, do the most important thing on your To-Do list first, before you do anything else.
26. For the next 14 weeks, conduct a review of each week. During your weekly review, answer the following:
• What did you accomplish?
• What went wrong?
• What went right?
27. For the next 100 days, spend a few minutes at the end of each day organizing your desk, filing papers, and making sure that your work area is clean and orderly, so that you can walk in to a neat desk the next day.
28. Make a list of all of the commitments and social obligations that you have in the next 100 days. Then, take out a red pen and cross out anything that does not truly bring you joy or help move you along the path to achieving your main life goals.
29. For the next 100 days, every time that you switch to a new activity throughout the day stop and ask yourself, "Is this the best use of my time at this moment?"
Health
30. Losing a pound of fat requires burning 3500 calories. If you reduce your caloric intake by 175 calories a day for the next 100 days, you'll have lost 5 pounds in the next 100 days.
31. For the next 100 days, eat five servings of vegetables every day.
32. For the next 100 days, eat three servings of fruit of every day.
33. Choose one food that constantly sabotages your efforts to eat healthier - whether it's the decadent cheesecake from the bakery around the corner, deep-dish pizza, or your favorite potato chips - and go cold turkey for the next 100 days.
34. For the next 100 days, eat from a smaller plate to help control portion size.
35. For the next 100 days, buy 100% natural juices instead of the kind with added sugar and preservatives.
36. For the next 100 days, instead of carbonated drinks, drink water.
37. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix breakfast meals.
38. Create a list of 20 healthy, easy to fix meals which can be eaten for lunch or dinner.
39. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix snacks.
40. Use your lists of healthy breakfast meals, lunches, dinners, and snacks in order to plan out your meals for the week ahead of time. Do this for the next 14 weeks.
41. For the next 100 days, keep a food log. This will help you to identify where you're deviating from your planned menu, and where you're consuming extra calories.
42. For the next 100 days, get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.
43. Wear a pedometer and walk 10,000 steps, every day, for the next 100 days.
Every step you take during the day counts toward the 10,000 steps:
• When you walk to your car.
• When you walk from your desk to the bathroom.
• When you walk over to talk to a co-worker, and so on.
44. Set up a weight chart and post it up in your bathroom. Every week for the next 14 weeks, keep track of the following:
• Your weight.
• Your percentage of body fat.
• Your waist circumference.
45. For the next 100 days, set your watch to beep once an hour, or set up a computer reminder, to make sure that you drink water on a regular basis throughout the day.
46. For the next 100 days, make it a daily ritual to mediate, breath, or visualize every day in order to calm your mind.
Your Relationship
47. For the next 100 days, actively look for something positive in your partner every day, and write it down.
48. Create a scrapbook of all the things you and your partner do together during the next 100 days. At the end of the 100 days, give your partner the list you created of positive things you observed about them each day, as well as the scrapbook you created.
49. Identify 3 actions that you're going to take each day, for the next 100 days, in order to strengthen your relationship.
These can include the following:
• Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" to your significant other every morning.
• Hug your significant other as soon as you see each other after work.
• Go for a twenty minute walk together every day after dinner; hold hands.
Social
50. Connect with someone new every day for the next 100 days, whether it's by greeting a neighbor you've never spoken to before, following someone new on Twitter, leaving a comment on a blog you've never commented on before, and so on.
51. For the next 100 days, make it a point to associate with people you admire, respect and want to be like.
52. For the next 100 days, when someone does or says something that upsets you, take a minute to think over your response instead of answering right away.
53. For the next 100 days, don't even think of passing judgment until you've heard both sides of the story.
54. For the next 100 days do one kind deed for someone every day, however small, even if it's just sending a silent blessing their way.
55. For the next 100 days, make it a point to give praise and approval to those who deserve it.
56. For the next 100 days, practice active listening. When someone is talking to you, remain focused on what they're saying, instead of rehearsing in your head what you're going to say next. Paraphrase what you think you heard them say to make sure that you haven't misinterpreted them, and encourage them to elaborate on any points you're still not clear about.
57. Practice empathy for the next 100 days. If you disagree with someone, try to see the world from their perspective; put yourself in their shoes. Be curious about the other person, about their beliefs and their life experience, and about the thinking process that they followed to reach their conclusions.
58. For the next 100 days, stay in your own life and don't compare yourself to anyone else.
59. For the next 100 days, place the best possible interpretation on the actions of others.
60. For the next 100 days, keep reminding yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can.
From www.selfhelpstreet.com
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Dr Robert Anthony: Are You Trapped In This Cycle?
Have you noticed the things you got handled you keep handling?
That's because your belief is congruent so your pattern of thought and your expectations keep perpetuating the same things. The Law of Attraction, which is the fundamental creative law of the universe, says that the frequency you are emitting is constantly being matched by other frequencies that are the same. So when you feel the way you feel and you don't consciously change the thoughts that cause you to feel the way you do, then you continue to experience this habit of thought.
Unfortunately, most people do not change their patterns of belief because most people perpetuate their patterns of belief through their observation of WHAT IS. Here is what's happening: WHAT IS surrounds you, then you observe it, then you offer more vibration about it and the Law of Attraction gives you more of WHAT IS which you observe and offer a vibration about it so the Law of Attraction gives you more of WHAT IS, etc.
Then you compound the problem by saying that, "My life experience has taught me that WHAT IS - IS! This is fact. This is just the way it is".
That may or may not be true. It may be JUST THE WAY IT IS, but what you need to understand is that JUST THE WAY IT IS, is absolutely changeable, but you can't change JUST THE WAY IT IS if you keep observing JUST THE WAY IT IS!
So how to you change this pattern? You change it by choice. You choose to look at things the way you WANT them to be. You shift your vibrational pattern by caring more about the way you FEEL then you do about the "truth" or the "facts" that you are observing. The way you FEEL is what activates the Law of Attraction. If you do whatever you can to feel good and focus on what you want instead of the WAY IT IS, you will attract what you want. If you focus on THE WAY IT IS, you will attract more of the WAY IT IS. It's as simple as that.
Dr. Robert Anthony
935 Westbourne Dr., West Hollywood, CA 90069
That's because your belief is congruent so your pattern of thought and your expectations keep perpetuating the same things. The Law of Attraction, which is the fundamental creative law of the universe, says that the frequency you are emitting is constantly being matched by other frequencies that are the same. So when you feel the way you feel and you don't consciously change the thoughts that cause you to feel the way you do, then you continue to experience this habit of thought.
Unfortunately, most people do not change their patterns of belief because most people perpetuate their patterns of belief through their observation of WHAT IS. Here is what's happening: WHAT IS surrounds you, then you observe it, then you offer more vibration about it and the Law of Attraction gives you more of WHAT IS which you observe and offer a vibration about it so the Law of Attraction gives you more of WHAT IS, etc.
Then you compound the problem by saying that, "My life experience has taught me that WHAT IS - IS! This is fact. This is just the way it is".
That may or may not be true. It may be JUST THE WAY IT IS, but what you need to understand is that JUST THE WAY IT IS, is absolutely changeable, but you can't change JUST THE WAY IT IS if you keep observing JUST THE WAY IT IS!
So how to you change this pattern? You change it by choice. You choose to look at things the way you WANT them to be. You shift your vibrational pattern by caring more about the way you FEEL then you do about the "truth" or the "facts" that you are observing. The way you FEEL is what activates the Law of Attraction. If you do whatever you can to feel good and focus on what you want instead of the WAY IT IS, you will attract what you want. If you focus on THE WAY IT IS, you will attract more of the WAY IT IS. It's as simple as that.
Dr. Robert Anthony
935 Westbourne Dr., West Hollywood, CA 90069
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